ahem, patriotic (teehee) world of Amway. And, I’ll admit it, I’m man enough, I almost went for it. “What the hell I said, If I don’t

like it, I can always quit!” Well, let me tell you a story, my friend. One of greed, corruption, scamming, triangles (although they

call them circles) and propaganda.

     My first encounter with Amway started innocently enough. I met up with an old friend of mine who told me that he was working

with a “business oppritunity” that guarnteed him to make a fortune. He was wondering if I was interested. I said “Sure. Why not?”

About a week later he gave me another call, and asked me if I wanted to hear the business plan presented by someone who was

better at those sorts of things. So, a couple hours later, I was being whisked off in a mini-van to, of all places, a coffee shop.

     He began asking me what my dream car would be. It was at this instant I knew that he would be promoting Amway. I had my

hunches, so I brought along my micro-cassette recorder to try and catch any double-talk and what-not. I went along and listened

and sure enough it sounded great, and almost foolproof. But I wanted to find out more about this organization. My dad has

always warned me about these folks.”Tye’s farm equipment dealership went under with thousands of dollars in Amway shit in the

basement!” I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard that.

     Well, after this intial presentation, I was asked if I wanted to hear more. “Sure.”, I said. And out came the tapes. Ohh, they love

those tapes. Two or three about why Amway is the key to the socio-economic thread of the space/time continueum, and

whatnot.

     So I listened to them. Belive it or not, one of them actually made a little bit of sense. (NOTE: I said a LITTLE BIT. Not much

but a little bit.Hell, It wasn’t even by an Amway zealot!). Anyway, I was pursuaded into attending an Amway Meeting (Egad,

They love their meetings!). So, while I was there I watched a couple people get up and speak about how they made their

personal fortunes, by selling to their friends, collegues, street people, etc… And it all really seemed too good to be true. All these

folks had taken a go at it and made it, somewhat.

     Well, I asked a couple of more questions, and shortly afterward was handed a couple of books. The only one I can

remember the title of offhand was “Who Stole the American Dream”. The reason I remember this one, is because it

really turned me off this thing. Not only for it’s blindingly brash Americain Arrogance, but blatent twisting of facts,

creation of facts and probly the most propaganda filled book since Mien Kampf.

     Other things began to show up. For example, they gave no shame about it, they were driven by greed and the lust to

become a rich snob. They told everyone that if your friends didn’t agree with how you made money, they were ignorant

to the cause and probly weren’t really your friend anyways. I didn’t like this train of thought. I have plenty of friends who

don’t agree with my point of view, but I’m not about to tell them were they can go because of it!

     Ah, their prized catalouge of the best stuff for sale anywhere. It was mostly mediocre crap. It was something in between a

Bi-way and a kwiki-mart. (for those of you who don’t know, those are both second rate stores, if you haven’t figrued that out

yet.) This was what they were promoting to be the saviour of their finacial lives? For the most part, the prices weren’t entirely that

great either. And along the same lines, maybe it’s just me, but the idea of trying to pawn off this crap onto my friends, of whom I

may not have in five years, because they don’t agree with my wealth. Things just weren’t fitting right.

     So, needless to say, I left Amway behind me. And I leave for you, some indicators that someone may be trying to sell you onto

Amway, and not wanting to say Amway.

• They claim to take a lot of trips. Cleaveland and Disney World are biggies.

• They want to take you out for coffee to discuss a business oppritunity.

• They ask you if you want to go to a business meeting. These are usually held a Howard Johnson hotels. Beware!