The Coolest Plate I've Seen All Day     What is it with us and fireworks? Last year on the farm, we got told not to light off fireworks because it scares the horses and they would do back flips in their stalls. Now, whether it’s a thunderstorm or us lighting fireworks, loud noises happen and the horses should deal. But that’s all done now, we moved out of the farm and now instead of being able to set off fireworks any old time of the year, we can only light them around those two special days of the year, Victoria Day and Canada Day. So we lit off all but one last night and a flailing neighbour came out of her town house just before we were about to light off the last one. She told us that those were town houses behind ours. I guess we’ve never looked out our back window. She also told us that what we were doing was illegal. We said that we’re allowed because of the holiday. She said that lighting them in the backyard was illegal and that if we lit one more she’d call the police and the fire department. So basically she was out to waste everyone’s time. We were very careful when selecting the location in the backyard, we even filled the pit with gravel so that the fireworks were carefully mounted and would not accidentally fall over. The wind was not very strong at all and it was a pretty good night for fireworks. So, not wanting trouble, we took the very last firework to the baseball diamond and set it off on the sand there. After everyone had gone, Brianne looked it up. The City of Guelph web site had the fireworks by-law posted. In that document it says nothing about setting them off in the back yard being illegal. It also says nothing about the time we set them off (we were done by 11:30pm) and it also says that setting them off on city owned land is prohibited unless we got permission from the city council. So it was illegal for us to go to the park and set them off, but it was legal to set them off in our back yard. I also feel that it’s appropriate to mention that saying “fuck” a lot does not make your point come through clearer, it makes you sound like a jerk that can’t settle a simple dispute in a calm fashion.


     I found out yesterday that there was a birthday party for my aunt Lorna. Happy 40th!

Author: Ian

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